Special boy

"Daddy, how old is Daisy?"

"Seven, I think."

"When is her birthday?"

"Uh."

"Is Tulip seven, too?"

"Tulip is six."

"Are they older than me?"

"Yes."

"When will I be older than them?"

"Technically, you'll be older than them a couple years after they--"  After a nanosecond of deliberation, I opted not to toss pet death into Lyla's already crowded emotional bucket.  "The dogs are older than you, kiddo.  That's just the way it is."

"Why?"

"Because they were born first.  But you can do a lot of things they can't do, like eat at the table and go to school."

"Well, dogs can go to school.  They go with other dogs.  And Daisy sometimes eats things off the table."

"Excellent point.  But you can--"  Of the myriad ways dogs are not like people, let's see what I came up with.  "You can use a toilet."  Check out the big brain on Dad.

"Daddy, can people poop in their backyard?"

"Absolutely not."

"Rowan poops in his diaper in the backyard."

"Rowan is special."

"Yeah."