I went to the dentist today and it was horrible. No cavities, just tartar buildup, which I know is a fun topic to read about. Scrape scrape scrape scrape for 45 minutes. It was like I was a captured spy and the enemy was trying to motivate me to give information. I would've spilled the secrets if I had any.
"Have you thought about a Sonicare toothbrush? Do you floss? What about Listerine?"
"Fuh you!" is what it would've sounded like with my mouth full of her torture devices, but instead I said nothing. I use all that crap. She described my entire regimen. Later I told her, and she tilted her head and said, "Ohhh," like I was an adorable puppy.
I will lie to my children. "Hey kids, I went to the dentist today, and it was super fun! The nice lady tickled Daddy's teeth! And she counted all of them!"
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